Sunday, 16 June 2019
News
Friday, 1 September 2017
Author view: Wild Thing (from the inside)
By a view from the inside, I mean, very much focusing on why I wrote what I did — the stuff behind what's on the page.
Origins
Certainly the story grew organically. The seed, as I've written before, was a fictional tragedy, the death of a much-loved character. To try to ‘get over' that loss, I wanted a replacement who was at least as engaging and fascinating to me. This was in our long-running Shadowrun fantasy role-playing campaign, which had by then been running for a couple of years. One of the others (Hi, Dean!) suggested trying the martial artist character archetype. And I don't know where the idea of the character being an assassin came from, but I think it was accompanied right from the outset with the certainty that the character should be lovable. Yeah, a lovable assassin. Even I could see that that would be a challenge, but a challenge was what I craved. And from the outset, my subconscious was telling me a female assassin would have more scope for that.Sadly, I think my subconscious was spot on. Factored into the idea, I'm sure, was an awareness that the average woman is physically weaker than the average man; that women were under-represented in positions of authority (even today; even more so back then, around 1991). And her age? Well, there's a similar intrinsic power disadvantage suffered by the young, due simply to their lack of world experience. It's why we hold the natural and correct assumption that adults will care for and nurture children. Sadly, this isn't always how things work out in practice.
So even at this early stage, Leeth was starting to coalesce from the shadows, struggling towards her own birth.
Lovability?
If a character is to be likeable, we need to have sympathy for him or her. I also admit I wanted the challenge of creating a killer who people would care for and relate to. I knew it would be a hard task, but why not set the bar high? There was certainly an element of hubris in this, I confess. But I'm very glad I had the confidence to try.The next steps had some purely rational elements: the central obstacle to an assassin winning our hearts, is just how wrong that ‘profession' is. That's a massive negative to overcome. To gain sympathy, there needed to be something pretty significant to weigh the scale more heavily in the other direction. I think the first piece of the puzzle might have been the idea of innocence: that she would not know that what she was doing was wrong.
Wait, what? Not know that killing people is wrong? Are you kidding me?
No. That seemed central, to me: that she would embody most of the virtues we want in our heroes, or even just in our friends. She would be courageous, and loyal. Happy, and positive. Wanting to do good, and help people.
Filling in the gaps
From that point, I think Leeth almost created herself. Who would an assassin be valuable to? Well, criminal organisations, or governments. Choosing a government clearly gives lots of scope for moral and ethical issues to be raised. (Though even a government, I hope, would be unwilling to deliberately groom a child as a killer.)But a magical researcher, who was unfeeling, who wanted a subject for some research he or she felt was of enormous importance, I could imagine him focusing so utterly on his experimental goals he entirely disregarded the moral and ethical dimension of raising a child. If he considered himself to be carrying out an experiment rather than raising a child, then the plausibility of the misstep was high. It also had enormous potential for high stakes: from horrible consequences to massive personal growth.
If our assassin's suffering exceeded that of her victims, maybe she could earn our sympathy, I thought? And what a Hero's Journey she would have ahead of her: her ignorance could not last forever.
Yeah, even at this stage, it was clear the character would have depth, and might be someone original and powerful.
So Leeth came first, and Harmon moments later. She would obviously have to be raised more or less in isolation, under Harmon's ‘care'; that led to the invention of the Institute for Paranormal Dysfunction. Just the name almost sketches out the Institution. Then we needed a clandestine government agency with a use for an assassin, especially one who had no moral objection to killking, yet who wasn't a psychopath. ‘Eagle' came next. Then Mother and Father: the codenames a deliberate highlighting of just how far from reality their roles really would be. The rest of the Department filled in needed roles while keeping the numbers as small as possible, for logical secrecy and budget reasons.
The final piece
The final piece was: what question would be so big, so valuable to answer, that it would plausibly justify even an emotionally stunted person from realising the wrongness of his own actions? How about, what made Magic develop in a person — where Magic came from, why it returned? I had read Julian May's The Many Colored Land series, where the metapsychic blossoming was often a response to impossible stress. This idea struck me as deeply true: that often we don't know our capabilities until we're pushed to our limits, like an animal is most dangerous when pushed into a corner, or a mother lifting a car off their child. Hence the idea of stress being ‘the secret ingredient' of Unfolding.And from there, I suppose the next piece was the idea that Leeth would be too stubborn; too grounded in herself to really question herself. Not a self-reflective type. A positive, energetic, irrepressible optimist. Who would not give in. I deliberately made the two perfectly mismatched, each triggering the other into escalating shows of force and resistance. The unstoppable force meeting the immovable object.
Building the pressure until something exploded.
From there, it didn't seem a big step for Harmon to decide to try to create a new Archetype: the powerful female, equal to the male (yeah, Harmon doesn't think highly of women. But then, he doesn't think highly of most people). A Huntress. And — it would not occur to him — a killer. Harmon is a rationalist who disdains emotion, and considers it a weakness. He's interested only in his experiment, not in raising a child as a well-rounded person. Such a person could easily overlook the need to give a child any ethical instruction. And if we place the child in an environment with no one to play with, precious few humans to interact with… and with a shadowy agency working in the background to let the situation develop… then all the ingredients are in place.
The sexual abuse
But why the sexual abuse? Mainly, because it was about the worst thing I could imagine. It also seemed to grow naturally out of the story. So we have a powerful character, a highly skilled martial artist able to kill with a single swipe of invisible ‘claws' — who can be rendered powerless by a simple whispered phrase. Unable to tell anyone of it.Not to mention, the abuse would leave scars. Leeth is a person with serious character flaws.
Writing the book, it grew from the intimacy of their relationship: the two locked in their own little world, seeing only the other, a battle for control or independence, each egging the other on. Leeth, unconsciously so as she matured; but set up, in that, by Harmon's own unconscious desires and self-deception. Harmon is confident that he is rational and in control, oblivious to and in denial of his own human urges.
Naturally, as Leeth matures, she would gain strength and develop resistance She would start seeing through his deceptions, to the point where he loses control and sees his life's work about to turn to nothing — for him, an outcome so terrible that it leads to his betrayal of both her and himself.
The relationship between Leeth and Harmon is the keystone of the story. Some reviewers are strongly of the opinion that the relationship is too extreme, that Harmon's actions are completely unconscionable, that a painful death is the only possible outcome for him. That for Harmon, redemption is impossible. Some feel little sympathy for Leeth, either: how can murder be justified? What sort of monster is the author?
But these things do happen in real life. Adults abuse children, horribly. Some lock them in basements. Institutions which we expected to nurture and protect children instead harboured paedophiles who did things we wish we didn't have to think about. Some men still consider women inferior, unequal. Women are under-represented as CEOs, as politicians and judges and leaders of countries.
What Leeth means to me
What I wanted to show was that spirit could be enough to overcome all that. That Leeth would cope with everything Harmon would throw at her, and it would indeed make her stronger. Leeth has one advantage, I suppose, at least when it comes to Harmon: he's not trying to destroy her. He really is trying to make her stronger, and better. He doesn't know what Leeth will become, and is even happy when she surprises him.
I suppose for me, Leeth shows that if you never give up, the people trying to stop you can't ‘win'.
Thursday, 31 August 2017
Author review: Wild Thing (from the outside)
Apologies for the long gap in writing. I took a break, and also got sick with a very annoying coughing thing for 6-7 weeks, then just goofed off for a while, allowing myself a rest.
First impression
Overall assessment
Detailed impressions and vague synopsis
Part II: Years pass, Harmon continues his manipulations, and it seems the imaginary creatures Sara ‘hunts’ in the grounds may be real, and outside anyone’s expectations. The Godsson situation – his annual ‘attacks’ – also continue, slowly worsening, though only Sara believes them to be real. While across the country, something terrible changes a murderer into something even more chilling. Sara’s stubborn determination to ‘help’ during Godsson’s annual attacks become a serious source of tension.
Tuesday, 18 April 2017
Writing: from Idea to Page
(Michael Troughton and Sean Williams holding up the SwanCon costume party sign, with Alan Baxter keeping an eye on the effervescent crowd.)
SwanCon 42 was held at the Metro Hotel, Perth, doing a heroic job supporting the convention (and feeding a large crowd several times a day). The hotel strained at the seams, but in my view they can be proud of the job they did.
I must say I was also impressed by the dedication of the organising committee, and their ability to fix things and cope when things unexpectedly went wrong.
This is just a short piece to record and share some notes I made as homework for one of the two planned panels I was on. It's a companion piece to a related panel focussed on publishing (and hence, is over on A Toe in the Ocean of Books). (I just intended to type up my notes, but saw they'd be a bit too cryptic if I did literally just that.)
The topic of the panel discussion (organised by Michael Cogan), was "Writing: from Idea to Page":
"Have you had a story in your head for ages you want to tell the world but not sure where to begin? Join our panellists who have been there and done that. Gain some tips and ideas on how to get your story idea down onto paper."
My most excellent fellow panellists were Satima Flavell, Glenda Larke, and Meg Caddy.
I think that collectively we provided good information. Please understand this is not a record of what we all said, but merely some notes I made beforehand as a memory jogger. Some of these points were made by other panellists independently, in their own words. Because we had only an hour and there was a lot of ground to cover, only some of these notes were covered in the talk.
So, in no particular order, these are my notes:
Look for the heart of your story — what is the key thing that is the essence that's driving you to write the story? What is it that is special and unique about your story that's pushing you to bring it to life in other people's minds?
For the above navel-gazing, there are a few ways of looking at your story, through the lens of words, that may help you. They'll help you most if you do it once you've got a good feel for what you want to do; but you can do it at any stage of the writing process. And it's simply to try writing the blurb (the short description designed to tell them readers just enough to intrigue them — maybe 100-200 words); and/or to write down "the elevator pitch" for the story (what you could say in one breath while to someone who asks "What's your story about?"); and the theme of the story (what is it exploring?). I'd add you can also try to create the "tag line" for your story (what might appear on the front cover if it was produced as a book).
People often talk about plotters vs "pantsers", or people who outline and meticulously plan vs those who fly by the seat of their pants and just write and see what happens. Use whatever works for you. You can also mix and match. I'm mostly a "pantser", but I've found that a sketchy outline (just bullet points) often provides a useful anchoring framework that I can work within or ignore as I see fit. You can use one method for the whole story, or different methods for different parts or at different times. E.g. I tend to use outlines when I need to solve some complex plot issue, or work out how on Earth the character could get into, or out of, some tricky situation.
That kind of leads me to the beautiful piece of luck that writing can help you write… When we create stories, we use three parts of our minds: the rational part, the unconscious, and our memory. Now, imagine trying to construct an entire novel in your head: working it all out and then just sitting down and start typing it up. Crazy, right? But you can paralyse your creative writing by trying to do that same kind of thing for much shorter things than a novel. It might be just a scene, or even just a piece of description.
Sure, spend some thought and try to work things out in your head: it's far faster and less effort than writing it down. But if you find you're not getting anywhere, or going around in loops, then just sit down and start writing.
You write stuff down so you don't spend 90% or 99% of your mental capacity just remembering everything. The blank page is not your enemy, it's your friend. It's an external part of your memory that can hold your thoughts and ideas effortlessly to free the rest of your mind to work on everything else that will go into your story. So, write stuff down that will be or may be useful: ideas of all sorts, bits of the story, sections of dialogue, possible bits of plot, a cool situation or setting… whatever you like. Once it's written down on your "external memory surface", it won't be distracting you at inopportune times saying "Don't forget me!"
And here's a related secret: once an idea is written down, you've basically put some very well-behaved modelling clay down that's ready and willing for you to shape it and improve it. It doesn't have to be anywhere near perfect when you write it down. There's an excellent quote from Terry Pratchett: "The first draft is just you telling yourself the story."
Read a lot. Write.
Always be looking for ways to improve what you write. Read about writing; read advice from others (Google searches will tend to find you stuff that is popular with other people); get reviews from other writers. But most of all, write.
Writing is a very learnable skill: you learn it by writing, while consciously trying to improve. (I don't mind literally all the time: that would be distracting and unhelpful when you're "in the flow" and creating!) But be open to learning new stuff, and finding weaknesses in your own work. It's very learnable, but it's also one of those skills that requires thousands of hours of practice.
Know your characters. Know your world. You can learn about them by writing down whatever you dream up for them! Don't write this stuff down thinking it needs to go into your story: it doesn't. It's so that you, the author, gains a deeper understanding of some of the key things in your story. For your characters, the personality is more important than their appearance. So make sure you pose yourself some fun questions about them that will give you a deeper understanding of what drives them. What music do they like? What food? What clothes do they love or hate? What do they spend money on? What piece of clothing would they put on first in the morning? What thing did they love most as a child?
Likewise, pose yourself some suitable (and helpful) questions regarding the setting.
Write these things down in some kind of background notes file. Use enough organisation so that you don't lose them, so you can find them if you need to remind yourself of them later. Write them down: it will help you remember, and it's more practice in writing.
Look for a writer's group and participate. But bail out and find another or form your own if you're not getting what you need from the group. I highly recommend the
Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror — reviews by other writers are the DNA of the site/community, and the site itself is wonderfully powerful and helpful in sharing and reviewing among the members. It costs US$50/year, which is super cheap for what you'll get from it (because 99% of the value comes from the members themselves writing and receiving reviews), and you can even try it for a month for free. I feel sorry for other genres that they don't have a site as good as this available to them.
Accept criticism and try to learn from it — if you sense it's been given honestly, i.e. with good intentions. But keep in mind that no piece of writing will please everybody. Just because one person doesn't like or ‘get' what you're saying, is not a reason to change it. But if two people tell you that a specific thing didn't work for them, it probably means there's something odd there. But if they tell you how to fix it, they're probably wrong: only you can know how to alter that piece to avoid that reaction. (Paraphrasing Neil Gaiman, I think.)
On the subject of improving your writing, go back to some of the stories you love. Actively study them and try to work out why. The consider whether something like that would be something you'd like to do, and start practising doing it.
Look for your own writing style — every writer has their own distinct style. ‘Different' can be good. But to get a feel for how other writers work, and the range of literary devices that are available for you to use as you see fit, try some exercises of writing a something in the style of an author you admire. Something reasonably short, just so you get a feel for how that technique works. Stretch your writing muscles.
Less is often more. If you can express something in fewer words, without changing the feeling or the meaning, then those words will have greater impact. (I think of poetry as like distilled alcohol: it's strings of words that have been super-concentrated so they pack a powerful punch.) Pretend you have a word budget: you kind of do. The reader will appreciate you using only the words you need to achieve the effect you want. Omit details which the reader can fill in for themselves.
Trust your readers' intelligence. You don't need to spell everything out for them. They will enjoy figuring stuff out and piecing things together for themselves. Don't spoon feed them, or lead them buy the nose. Leave them room to exercise their own imagination, too.
If you write something odd, readers (especially if you're little known), are likely to think "Oh, look, there's a mistake." and be thrown out of the story. So, when you are doing something deliberately odd, make sure you also provide some subtle hint, some indication, that lets the reader know that you know it was odd. Then they won't think "Mistake", they'll think "Ooh, weird, what's going on here, I must read on."
It's less effort to learn the writing craft by writing short stories, simply because when you find problems in your writing style and go back to fix them, there's proportionately less to fix. But if you are not interested in writing short stories, or don't like them, then don't!
Do have a go at writing poetry. It's hard! But valuable. Learn about poetic devices, too. Sometimes they're useful to use in prose, a little.
Keep a pen and pencil beside your bed in case you have a great idea as you're falling asleep or waking up. Write it down. Ideally, with some light on, even if it's just enough to make sure your sentences don't run over the top of each other.
Think about flow. I see books as made from lots of interleaving flows operating across a range of levels. At the bottom level are the words of a sentence, which give you both the flow of the sounds but also a flow of meaning, and emotion. The rise and fall of these flows lead to a rhythm in each. Very similarly, when the sentences are showing a dialogue, or just letting us see the flow of ideas inside someone's head, the ideas should usually flow smoothly, each one connecting somehow to the next. Until, of course, you signal that that thread has stopped. Mostly, these flows will connect smoothly: but you can get a lot of impact from jarring or breaking the flow, provided you have done it consciously for that purpose.
The next level up are paragraphs, and then pages, and scenes, and chapters, and the whole book, or books. There are flows in pace, in density of writing, in emotion, in intensity, … any sort of quality you want to imbue in your story. Gradually learn to be aware of these flows.
You do need to vary the rhythm. Monotony gets boring pretty quickly. But don't just vary the rhythm randomly: be aware of the flows, and build and release the rhythms to create the effects you want in your story. This applies across all the levels.
Unlike literary fiction, other stories must have a plot, not just a story. (A story = "this happens, then this, and this". A plot = "this happens, and because of that, this happens, and that leads to this.)
Trust your unconscious. You can set it working on a creative problem by thinking about your problem, feeding in or refreshing your mind by consciously going over the information relevant, that may include all the requirements that the solution must satisfy. Consciously be aware that you're doling this to feed the raw data to your unconscious so it can get to work on the problem. Then do something else that will distract your conscious mind. And every now and then, do a little revisit to the problem so to keep things bubbling along. Sooner or later, the solution will pop into your head.
None of these are rules. Even if they are, if you know you're breaking a rule, but you're doing so for a good reason, then that's almost always going to be fine.
So there are lots of things to learn about writing, but it is a very learnable skill. But the work you put into learning about writing should be small compared to just writing your stories. You learn writing mainly by doing it. Don't think that you have to learn everything before you can "start to write". Just write.
Friday, 31 March 2017
Free and discount ebook giveaway
The promotion started at midnight (PDT) on March 31st (so that was 6pm AEST, or 7am UTC). It ends on April 2nd.
I've made Wild Thing free for all three days (actually, a bit more: both before and after). Unfortunately, because Harsh Lessons's Kindle Select Term ends (rolls over) on March 31st, the best I can manage is to make it free on the 1st and 3rd days: Amazon have no way of pre-allocating free days in the next term, nor can they set the price to free on the current day, even if you do it at the start of that day.
The purpose of the promotion very much aligns with what I think is the key issue for authors working outside the traditional publishing environment: being discovered by readers. It also helps readers discover books they've never heard of. And who knows, some of those writers in the promotion might become your next favourite author! So I'd encourage you to have a browse of the titles available over there at the Support for Indie Authors event.
Various writers there have been working hard creating promotional images for the event and sharing them for all the participants to use. C.B. organised a Thunderclap; Christina McMullen organised the event and put together the event site, and all the authors helped with promoting and discounting their books. One member, Missy Sheldrake, even made a couple of promo videos you might like to check out, and uploaded them to Youtube here and here!
I'll be back at work on Shadow Hunt from April 1st, having received an interim critique of the 1st 200 pages from Dave at ThEditors.com on Friday night. (He said it's looking pretty good so far.)
(I'll post this same article over on my other blog.)
Monday, 27 March 2017
March 2017 news
This is a very brief update on what I'm up to.
I've teamed up with a bunch of other authors from Support for Indie Authors (not the talented Aussie singer/songwriter, Sia!) of Goodreads) who will be running a large free-or-discount book promotion event from March 31st - April 2nd. The site will go live on midnight of Mar 31st at VM's Spring Attack, when a big bunch of books will appear.
In other news, on Sunday March 26th I uploaded a draft of Shadow Hunt to Amazon, to make it available for pre-order on April 30th. Dave is still working through his final critique, but felt that April 30th sounded a reasonably manageable date for me. But I will be busy between now and then!
Right now, I'm basically doing some marketing type stuff, as well as doing what I can to get Shadow Hunt ready for publication, while waiting for Dave's final critique. Jon Marshall has kindly acted as a Beta reader (x2), and said the book is noticeably better after my revisions following Dave's critique of Jan 11th. But Jon had some notes/comments, which I'll be working through this week.
I will also be attending Swancon 42, April 13th—17th, the speculative fiction convention in Perth (Western Australia). It'll be my first visit there. I think the flight is over four hours — it's a big country!
In the meantime, I've made myself a little list of all the things I need to do between now and the end of April. My dream is that I'll have the ebook ready before that, and will be able to publish earlier. And that I'll be able to use the last week or two of April to prepare and get the printed books ready, once again via IngramSpark.
I also have several blog articles that I plan to write (both here and on A Toe in the Ocean of Books): including a Q&A article from some good questions from my first fan.
Excelsior!
Wednesday, 15 February 2017
Shadow Hunt blurb
I've received lots of useful feedback for this and my other blurbs. As a result, I feel I'm slowly learning how to write a blurb. Below are some of the comments I've had, that highlight problems to keep an eye out for. Mostly these comments have been for different versions of a blurb — although sometimes the comments have been for the same version, but from different people! (The highlighted item is the critical point.)
- It wasn't until the end of the blurb that I discovered the MC was a young woman.
- This blurb won't make much sense to someone who hasn't read the previous books.
- This blurb says too much about what has gone before, and not enough about this story.
- I don't get a sense of what the story is.
- The final paragraph implies there's some choice the MC has to make — but you've given us no information regarding what that choice is about.
- There's not much of the personality of the MC coming through.
- You're using too many hedging constructions like "this, but that" or "although one thing, also another".
- You're trying to say too much; what's the heart of the story?
- You're giving away too much: just give us hints about what happens. Show us enough to make us ask questions. Intrigue us.
- It's too long.
- It's too short.
So it's definitely an art. I've also heard it said that a blurb typically goes through hundreds (or even a thousand) revisions, in traditional publishing. I think mine go through about a hundred or two. The blurb for Shadow Hunt has probably been reviewed about fifty times by others, and about seventy times by me, so far. This time I really think I have something that's good: close to good enough for the back cover, at last? Then again, I also thought that three times before.
One worthwhile thing I did recently was posting the blurb on facebook, and asking people what they thought of it. From that, I received lots of critically valuable feedback. (I'd received similar feedback on Friday night from some friends, but I didn't understand the why behind it, then.)
The key realisation for me was that when I read a blurb, I want to know only the bare minimum to decide if I want to read the story or not. The only blurbs I read in their entirety are those by authors I don't love. For authors I know I enjoy reading, I read only enough of the blurb to get a general sense of the story and the MC; and for a series I love, I read the blurb after the book, not before.
This means that for series, I think it's important for the blurb to say as little as you can: most readers will have read the earlier books. Other readers will probably sample bits inside the book to decide if they want to read it, or read reviews to get a better idea of what to expect.
Anyway, here is my new version of the blurb. Is it good enough?
Blurb for vol 3 of The Leeth Dossier, Shadow Hunt. (The tag-line is: "She thought she was hunting it"). It's 108 words long. (2017/2/28.)
Threat to all humanity.
2062, 26 years after magic unexpectedly returned to our world. In the Dumps outside New Francisco, eighteen-year-old Leeth is on the run. She doesn’t regret sacrificing her future to save her friend, but both the ruthless covert agency she worked for and her controlling uncle want her back.
Despite the loneliness and hardships, Leeth is relishing her freedom, and is still determined to honor the promises she’s made.
But thanks to an insane mage’s tampering with meta-magical Archetypes, a uniquely altered killer is hunting her. And in this case, what she doesn’t know can doom her — then everyone else.
Progress
I should give a brief status report. I've spent most of Monday and Tuesday working on the blurb, in preparation for Wednesday night's meet-up by the Marrickville Writers Corner, and following the feedback I received (thanks to everyone who reviewed it). On Monday I basically had a day off; much of Tuesday was devoted to family stuff; and Wednesday included the next step in the Solar Panel and Malfunctioning Battery saga. So my progress through Dave's extremely valuable critique has slowed: I don't think I'll complete it until E/Feb at the earliest; more likely, March 7th.
As of Wednesday evening I was on p35 of 142pp of the 2nd half of the MS with Dave's annotations, which puts me on p238 of 491pp of the full, revised MS. I'm in the 100pp Fist Fest arc of the story, trying to cut the 30pp or so that Dave recommends, to fix the pacing. I also have a few new chapters to write. And then I need to polish all the new bits, then need to find a slot with Dave for him to re-review it, and then work through that critique (hopefully, much easier). So trying publish it E/March sounds impossible. But I'm still going to try!
I tweet my progress each day, if anyone wants to closely track where I'm up to. Sharing that information also helps spur on. So I'm sorry if this revised schedule will disappoint people, but on the other hand, I'm confident you'd all want me to produce the best book I can.
Now: back to the 'writing board'!
Older versions of the blurb.
2017/2/25, 110 words long.
Threat to all humanity.
2062, 26 years after magic unexpectedly returned to our world. In the Dumps outside New Francisco, eighteen-year-old Leeth is on the run. She doesn’t regret sacrificing her future to save her friend, but both the ruthless covert agency she worked for, and her controlling uncle, want her back.
Despite the loneliness and hardships, Leeth is relishing her freedom, and is still determined to honor the promises she’s made.
But thanks to an insane mage’s tampering with meta-magical Archetypes, a uniquely altered killer is hunting her. And in this case, what she doesn’t know can doom her — and after her, everyone else.
2017/2/19, 91 words long.
Threat to all humanity.
2061, 25 years after magic unexpectedly returned to our world. In the Dumps outside New Francisco, eighteen-year-old Leeth is on the run. She doesn't regret sacrificing her future to save her friend, but the ruthless covert agency she worked for, and her controlling uncle, want her back.
Despite the loneliness and hardships, Leeth is relishing her freedom. She is also determined to honor all the promises she's made.
But what she doesn't know, may do something much worse than kill her.
2017/2/18, 163 words long.
Threat to all humanity.
It's 2061, 25 years after magic unexpectedly returned to our world. In the Dumps that fringe New Francisco, Leeth is on the run. She doesn't regret sacrificing her future to save her friend, but the covert government agency that's been training her as their assassin wants her back.
As does her uncle, who still believes he owns her.
Despite the loneliness and hardships, Leeth is relishing her freedom. She is also working out how to honor her promise to release Godsson from the Institute for Paranormal Dysfunction — unaware the insane mage sees her as the key component needed to 'correct' human nature. His meta-magical construct, a shadow bonded to a ruthless killer, continues to hunt her. And is closing in.
Unless
one girl's spirit can prove strong enough to forge her own Path.
And the feedback on the above was pretty consistent and uniform: although several people liked it, several others commented that it was still saying much too much, and greatly chopped back everything at the point where it starts talking seriously about this book. And also shortening the contextual paragraph ("2061..."). Sandra Wigzell noted "Those that have read book 1 and 2 will know the premise of where you are going.. less words more mystery" and "in another analogy... stop being a stripper and now dress like a Nun...".
I had trouble with these shortened descriptions, in that none of them indicated the major plot arc. A few people commented that I had revealed too much (plot twists), until I realised they could not have meant plot twists (because I hadn't; and because every blurb in every series I sampled — about 10 — did indicate the major arc). But I myself don't read blurbs of series I like and authors I trust, because they give away too much. They don't give away plot twists, they give away the plot arcs. And I trust the author enough to assume they'll follow the plot arcs they've laid down previously, and I prefer to be surprised.
That said, the blurbs I sampled all varied in how much of the arc they revealed: some were very vague (and I would not mind reading them before reading the book, if I had taken the chance), but some were pretty clear (and I'm glad I read the blurb only after I finished reading the book).
So I think what everyone was really saying was that they want to know the bare minimum about what's happening in the book: just hints and clues, if that.
My brother Matthew wrote: "I like Zen paintings. I love minimalism. People who distil a perfect moment with their media to its essence leave me in awe of their ability" and "giving advice is not easy. I just tell you what's in my heart and what I like."
2017/2/17, 199 words long:
Threat to all humanity.
Sacrificing her future to save her friend is a decision Leeth refuses to regret. Now eighteen, she has escaped the covert government agency training her as their assassin. Hunted by her former colleagues, yet still desperate to belong, she is learning to survive in the society of outcasts bordering New Francisco. Hardship and loneliness bring freedom — and Leeth is relishing it. But darker agendas are at work.
The manipulative Doctor Harmon still believes he owns her: Leeth must best him if she's to take control of her life. Deciding to involve her friend Marcie, however, may have unexpected consequences.
Leeth also needs to learn to trust more wisely. Bound by her promise to release Godsson from the Institute for Paranormal Dysfunction, she remains unaware the insane mage sees her as the key component needed to ‘correct' human nature. His meta-magical construct, a shadow bonded to a ruthless killer, continues to hunt her. And is closing in.
Unless
one girl's spirit can prove strong enough to forge her own Path.
Monday, 6 February 2017
Shadow Hunt cover designed!
Today I finalised (I hope!) the blurb, and Mirella de Santana finished her cover design, being very patient as usual with my fussiness. I love her work, and I hope you will too. Here’s the new cover:
Blurb writing is tricky – it’s been through numerous revisions, including input from friends, other writers at the very supportive Marrickville Writers Group, and my editor Dave at TheEditors.com. Here it is:
Leeth: Experimental subject. Government assassin.
Humanity's doom?
Desperate to belong, but hunted by her former colleagues, Leeth is now learning to survive in the society of outcasts bordering New Francisco. And despite hardship and loneliness, she is relishing her new-found freedom. But other agendas remain at work.
The manipulative Doctor Harmon still believes he can control her; still believes she belongs to him. Only by dealing with him can she take control of her life.
But Leeth has greater, hidden enemies who wish to use her. Godsson, the insane mage, sees her as the key ingredient in his plan to ‘correct’ human nature. His meta-magical construct, bonded to a ruthless killer, continues to hunt her. And it is closing in.
The stage has been set – for an ending worse than anyone knows.
Unless an eighteen-year-old girl’s spirit can prove strong enough to forge her own Path, instead.
Following Dave’s detailed critique of the 1st half of the MS, and feedback from my beta reader (Jon Marshall – thanks for spotting some significant problems!) right now I’m working on polishing my changes while waiting for the detailed crit of the 2nd half. Then it will be full steam ahead. I’m also in the process of booking things to visit Swancon 42 in Perth, April 2017.
I’ll need to decide the publication date for the ebook version, soon, and upload the draft MS to Amazon. I’m thinking March 15 – if I manage to complete it before then, I’m sure people won’t complain! It’s funny how each book seems to bring its own challenges and new things to learn. Or maybe Leeth is just intrinsically challenging! And Harmon, too, in his own way. I think my next post here will be from a Q&A session with an interested reader from overseas (my first fan contact!). He said he was happy to share our discussion (that largely focused in on the relationship between Leeth and Harmon), so after the book is ready, I’ll condense that into a post. Unless I find I need a break to preserve my sanity, and manage to make time before then.
Monday, 31 October 2016
Where Ideas Come From
I was daydreaming recently about what I'd say if I sat one day on an author panel, and someone asked the classic question. But I've thought about it enough, and followed perhaps enough interesting research, and been lucky enough, to maybe partly answer the question.
A stupidly arrogant claim, eh?
The short, half answer, is: the same place dreams come from.
One clue was a fascinating documentary some years ago which mentioned an (Italian? French?) researcher's idea that the same mechanism the brain uses to form dreams is at the root of our consciousness itself, and our thought processes.
Another clue is our ability to create mental models of other people - what they're thinking, how they'll react, how they're feeling - and the discovery of mirror neurones, that let us experience the pain or joy of other people, as if whatever is happening to them is also happening to us. That all ties up with our ability to form social groups, and through that, to survive. The evolutionary pressure that drove that development is very clear. So our ability to construct models of other people, good enough to allow us to hold imaginary conversations with them, is another large piece of the puzzle: we really are very adept at creating hypothetical situations, populating them with imaginary or "real" people, and then letting them act and react with each other in our minds. That's a big part of the answer.
Another equally big part is our hyper-developed ability to see patterns; patterns in all the bits and pieces of things that make up our mental landscapes — whether they're simple geometrical shapes or complex sets of actions with causes and effects. Our brains are hungry to find patterns, to predict the future or to make sense of the world around us. Again, this developed because the ability to read a warning sign, evolutionarily speaking, has very much been a matter of literal life and death. For individuals, tribes, or whole societies. So we're also great at making connections between apparently disjoint things: whether it's an apple falling from a tree, or a dream of two snakes coiling together.
Another really powerful element in our idea creation arsenal is our unconscious. I've blogged previously about the Unconscious Thought Theory, but it's worth recapping here. Unlike our conscious mind, which is great at managing sequential lines of thought and performing logical manipulations, our brains also provide with "an" unconscious, with something like fifty separate and independent "mental processing units", that can all access all our memories and whatever it is our brains use to represent parts of thoughts (facts, idea complexes), and then form new connections.
Fifty streams of thought that are all able to match and measure and compare and select and create.
This forming of connections, I suspect, is how we construct those structures in our brains that represent our ideas.
So as well as our logical minds, we also have this powerful parallel processing thinking engine at our disposal. I've been happily and very productively using UTT since I learned of it in 2014, to solve problems and generate ideas. So I know that for me, at least, it works. Very effectively.
And if that's not enough, to this "most complex thing in the universe" (the human brain and mind), we have perhaps mankind's greatest invention: words, and language. The ability to write stuff down. When you think of it, written language is "just" the capturing of ideas in a static, black and white, two dimensional form. Frozen in time: visible for anyone to see, however far away in space or time they may be from the original writer. Which is pretty amazing.
But for a writer, the written word becomes in a real sense an extension of the brain. Once written down, the burden of having and holding the thought has been transferred out of our brain and offloaded to an outside memory screen, sitting there for us to read at a glance and add back into the melting pot of our thoughts. It frees up the mind to generate the next thought, the next piece of the idea, and holds it in a stable form that won't collapse if we're interrupted, or lost if we're distracted.
And the final piece of the puzzle, I think, is each person's "mental wealth": the Aladdin's cave of memories, experiences, sights, sounds, music, pictures, ideas, feelings, facts, tales, people, hopes, …. in our heads. I don't know the limits of the storage capacity of our brains, but I do know it's huge. And the more good and rich and interesting stuff we store away in our treasure troves, the more building blocks we have for new ideas, new stories, new inventions.
So with all that thinking capacity at our command, and all that rich source of stuff from which to create new ones, I think the question of where our ideas comes from starts to seem a lot less surprising.
It comes from the most fundamental part of what makes us human, and from all we've seen and done. Humans are imagination engines, naturally generating ideas like the sun generates warmth.
It's what we do.
Sunday, 9 October 2016
Women Who Kick Ass
This is a homage to the fictional role models (viragos?) who helped lead to Leeth's creation.
While women have always been seen as influential ("behind every great man is a woman"), most human societies in recorded history have been male-led, if not outright male-dominated. Even in the above quote, the woman's position is behind the man. And while the average man is physically stronger than the average woman, that seems a pretty sorry justification for an unequal sharing of power. Thankfully, in the long run brain and heart are far more important to humanity than brawn. So as our societies evolve and improve, our innate sense of fairness puts a steady, shaping pressure that heads us in the direction of equality. (Fingers crossed!)
Anyway, enough philosophy. This piece is meant to be about the fictional characters who inspired me: role models who helped shape Leeth, and of whom I sometimes wondered "How would Leeth get on with X?" So, here's the list, in the order they spring to mind (and probably the significance of their influence):
Key Influences
Modesty Blaise — if you haven't read all Peter O'Donnell's novels about Modesty Blaise and Willie Garvin... you're missing out, big time. Those stories have everything, including a lot of heart.
Leela of the Sevateem (Louise Jameson alongside Tom Baker's classic Doctor Who)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_Angel_Alita">Battle Angel Alita aka ("Gunnm" in the Japanese)
Buffy (we don't even need to add "the vampire slayer" these days, do we?). The original film was an influence — and although the series was better, it was a little late to be a big influence. :-)
Leeloo of (Fifth Element)
Leeth... and magic?
Leeth was pretty much fully-formed by 1992: both who she was and her personality were already determined before all the fictional characters who came later than that. (As my friend Jon Marshall pointed out: Leeth has been in existence for more years than her fictional age.)
It was kind of weird, in a way: when Leeth was born, strong female characters in fiction were both rare and considered odd. Even in my original MS, Harmon chose the Huntress as the Archetype to try to activate through Leeth's Unfolding, because it would result in a perceptible shift in society. And strangely enough, while I wrote and polished, society did indeed shift around me, just as Harmon had hoped in his future society. Writers are dreamers: I know I was just tapping into a change that was already under way; there was no cause and effect. Words only work their magic on our society if they're read, not from the pure act of writing! But still, it seemed a nicely weird coincidence.
Sensitised by Leeth's existence, and wanting to do the best I could for her, I read lots of books in the genres I like, with strong female characters. And there are some truly wonderful women who have burst into life in our imaginations. Although they had much less influence on Leeth than the earlier few, I still want to give a kind of "shout out" to these later women of courage.
More women who kick ass
Commander Kusanagi of Ghost in the Shell's Section 9.
Joel Shepherd's series about Commander Sandy Kresnov. As I've long thought, by another weird coincidence, Crossover, the 1st novel in that series was one of the ten finalists alongside my own early MS — then titled "Leeth" — in the 1998 George Turner contest.
Lilith Saintcrow's Dante Valentine and Jill Kismet.
Joanne Walker of C E Murphy's The Walker Papers.
Diana Rowland's demon-summoning cop Kara Gillian.
The irrepressible Tinker of Wen Spencer's Elfhome series (aka "the Godzilla of Pittsburgh" — quite a rep, for a teenage girl!)
Maxine Kiss (in Marjorie M Liu's Hunter Kiss series.) Incidenatlly, how's this for a fantastic opening line — which the series goes on to equal and exceed! — "When I was eight, my mother lost me to zombies in a one-card draw.")
Elissa Megan Powers, "Emp", (Adam Warren's subversive and deeper-than-it-looks superheroine comic series, Empowered).
Wonder Woman, as re-imagined by George Perez in the late 80s.
Patricia Briggs's Mercedes Thompson.
Joanne Baldwin of Rachel Caine's Weather Warden series.
Eugenie Markham, Richelle Mead's Dark Swan series.
Katsa, Fire, and Bitterblue in Kristin Cashore's absolutely brilliant related books, that began with Graceling.
Agent Lila Black in Justina Robson's intriguing Quantum Gravity series.
Honor Harrington in David Weber's hard military sci-fi series.
Valkyrie Cain in Derek Landy's hugely fun Skulduggery Pleasant series.
Jane Yellowrock in Faith Hunter's Skinwalker series.
Laurell K Hamilton's Anita Blake (of the eponymous series).
Rachel Morgan (Kim Harrison's Hollows series).
Agatha Heterodyne (Phil & Kaja Foglio's brilliant Girl Genius series of graphic novels).
So, what's the attraction?
Why am I so drawn to the idea of a strong woman, as an author? There's probably a raft of reasons.
For a writer, a female protagonist provides a rich vein of emotional openness to explore. Men are expected to be "strong", and in our society showing emotion has for centuries been taken as a sign of weakness: a vulnerability. (Although that's finally changing!) In contrast, women were allowed, even expected, to let their emotions show. Or maybe they've simply been generally wiser, or tougher: willing to expose that side of themselves because of all it brings in return? (Countering the irony of Simon and Garfunkel's "If I'd never loved, I never would have cried".)
But whatever the reason, while for all these characters, their prowess and general ability to kick ass is empowering and heartening, it's their spirit that I find far more engaging. These are people who don't back down, who don't give in, who keep on fighting, no matter the odds. They never say die.
And it's that indomitable spirit which is their true strength.
PS
If you have thoughts about any of this, or would like to nominate other inspiring, kick-ass female protagonists, I'd love to hear about them in the comments!
Friday, 23 September 2016
Professional editing (my experience in working with thEditors.com)
Of all the advice given to independent authors, the top two things are probably "Get a professional cover design", and "Pay for a professional editor". Of these, the latter is I think the more important, though it's also the more expensive. A good cover is needed for someone to pause and consider your book, but in the end it's what's inside that really counts.
So it begs questions like:
- How do you find an editor?
- How much does an edit cost?
- How do you find a good editor?"
What is editing? There are different kinds of editing, and therefore different kinds of editors, with varying costs that depend on two things: the type of editing, and the amount of work involved. A short answer is possible, though, by being suitably vague: and that's to say "thousands of Australian dollars". The difference between a professional's work, and that of a skilled amateur, is exactly what you would expect from any other field. It's better. A professional editor working in their area of expertise will not just see problems in your writing clearly, but they'll be able to explain why it's a problem. An amateur may be able to sense that there is some problem, but very likely to be less sure of why. An amateur might say "I liked this chapter" (or not) — which is all well and good, but gives you little help to tackle the issue. A professional should give you much more: the whys, the hows, possible solutions, and so on.
Let's talk about cost first, since it's perhaps the easiest to deal with, and high on the list of authors' concerns. Especially true for indie authors, since the cost of the editing is not hidden inside the package of a deal with a traditional publisher.
Is it worth the money? Definitely, yes. From my own experience, I can state a personal and unqualified "Yes". And sensitised to the topic by my own experience, I then started picking up strong confirmation from successful authors in general. Read between the lines of the "Acknowledgements" section that prefaces most books, for the thanks given by the author to their editor. (Often, you don't need to read between the lines.) Or attend talks by writers: often, they'll very clearly state just how much credit they owe to their editors. I seem to recall one saying something along the lines "It's almost a dirty little secret: just how much your editor helps you to write the best book you can." I suspect that if you've read a book from an author you loved, and been underwhelmed by them with another of their books, to the point of wondering "How could that author have written that book?", the answer may be "Different editor."
Anyway, back to the topic of cost, you should think of it this way: you're going to be paying a professional to read your work, and to spend time thinking about what can be improved, what isn't working, what to do about it, and to write all that down so you can address all the issues (and perhaps, opportunities). If you're lucky, the editor may include some ideas that you'll kick yourself for not having spotted yourself. Or which simply make you go "Wow, great idea, yes!" and make you want to dive back to the keyboard, or pencil and paper. Another positive thing to consider, when weighing the cost, is that a lot of this is under your control: the clearer your writing, the more things you get right, the less work the editor will have.
Length. Obviously, the length of the work will affect the cost. A moderate length book is something like 80,000 — 100,000 words. A long book is something like 120k — 150k words. A very long book is 160k — 200k words. And so on. The more words you've written the more time it takes to read them and critique them. I'd also say, the more chance there is for things to go off the rails, and require large portions to be cut. So bear that in mind when thinking about the cost of an editor, and the time you will need to spend on writing the best book you can.
Polishing. Another point worth making about the cost, is polishing. The more time you can spend improving your work:
- the better it will be,
- the less work will be required from the editor,
- and the lower the cost will be.
So, regarding the cost: think of how many hours and weeks of work you're buying, and then divide the total cost to get a rough idea of how much you're paying the editor per hour. That should help you get a perspective on how much you're "really" paying for.
Finding an editor. So let's consider the question "How do you find a good editor (for your book)?"
As this article is already probably too long, I'll be lazy and just focus on my own experience, rather than trying to give a complete answer. But here's a token effort:
There's a little survey of how different writers approach editing, at: http://www.lexirad.com/income-covers-and-editing-more-fascinating-data-about-indie-authors/, and Ellis Shuman writes about how he found his editor here: Ellis Shuman: How I Found My Editor, while Emily Suess added a Self-Publishing Services Directory to her blog (though that has since become private <shrug>). An internet search will probably turn up the Editorial Freelancers Association website (www.the-efa.org/). It's also worth a Google search of Editors and Predators: you'll find some informative stuff.
My own experience? I found thEditors through Twitter. Early in my learning about self-publishing, I learned of the importance of authors being involved in social media (to the right degree), and joined Twitter, while trying to work out what it was and what I was supposed to do with it. I still think it's a good way to "curate the internet" — i.e. to learn of useful stuff for you. By Following other authors and people involved in publishing I encountered an ad for thEditors. Their offer was great: you sent them the first few thousand words of your novel, and they'd critique it for free, and indicate whether your manuscript would be a good fit for them.
Now, (don't laugh!), at this point I was just in what I thought was the final stages for self-publishing my novel. I'd put a lot of work into it over the years since its first draft, and it had even been a finalist in a contest. Since then, I'd found some big flaws, and made major improvements, and I'd just spent two more months (since being made redundant at the end of March, 2015), working intensely to learn about self-publishing and to improve the MS ready for publication on Amazon. I thought it was good to go, and that getting an opinion would be something along the lines of (I said, don't laugh!), "This is fine, you don't need our help — go for it."
(Of course, I also read the testimonials on their web site. To me, they seemed genuine: not faked-up or paid-for.)
What I got back, within two weeks!, was a lengthy email, basically encouraging but also with some suggestions for several big issues that needed addressing, and which was full of insightful comments. To me, it was a reality check: I had to agree with at least 95% of what he'd written; he definitely seemed to "get" my book, and even if I did nothing else, I definitely needed to go away and address all the issues he'd pointed out. He was also interested in working with me further on it, and asked a few questions (like: how long was it?)
What to do?
So, we started discussing it, by email.
Now, a good friend, who'd been patiently encouraging and prodding me over a twenty year period (I kid you not) to finish the book and publish it somehow — including reading it and critiquing it in detail — reacted at first with an "Are you sure this isn't just a lure? Do they just want your money? I think you could publish it as-is. You've been polishing it for years."
But my answer was that, 1) all the points they'd made seemed both correct and insightful, to me, and 2) I felt, from all our emails as we'd discussed it, that they were honest, and were not just stringing me along. So I showed my friend a print out of a couple of the emails, and remember Jon reading it and then looking up to me and saying "You're right. He knows what he's talking about. This is good advice. I hadn't seen these things."
And so I decided to go ahead, and spend the money. And then, I thought back to a comment in one of Dave's emails, that said something like "You'll see what I mean from the in-line comments in the document," which I had assumed at the time meant "… after you pay me the money and we get seriously to work." And thinking about it again, I mused, "You know, that really doesn't match my feelings about how thEditors operate. I don't suppose by any chance I overlooked an attachment, in one of the emails…?"
Uh.
Why, yes. Yes, I had. In that very first lengthy email from Dave, so full of good advice, in fact! There was a Word document attached, and just as he'd said, it had much more detail, including line-by-line comments. And the advice there — well, like his email, only more so. So, by this point it was blindingly clear that I'd have to be stupid to decide to go it on my own.
Kinds of editors.
I'm speaking of my experience with thEditors, who provided me with a line by line structural edit and also numerous developmental suggestions (while also pointing out typos spotted along the way). Their critique identified plenty of sentences that needed attention, and suggested fixes. Much of this focussed on my wordiness, some about over-use of adjectives and adverbs, some was to point out repetition; often it was just advice to shorten: pointing out that if you boil it down and concentrate your writing, the passage will usually have more impact. (I suppose the extreme example of this is poetry.) In my mind, it's what I think of as "the Cameron Edwards principle": if something can be said with fewer words, that's probably the right way to say it. (Based on an insight from a very smart young engineer I worked with, while our team was reviewing an important but lengthy patent we were drafting.) A pity I don't follow Cameron's (and Dave's) advice more, I hear you say! But I'm working on it.
Other kinds of editing range from this level, down to the level of detail of copy editing (proofreading?): identifying typos, grammatical errors, punctuation errors, and simple continuity errors. Have a look at, e.g., http://www.editors.ca/hire/definitions.html or wordcafeblog: Editing workshop 2: what are the different types of editing/ for some definitions.
Rough diamonds. Anyway, what Dave provided was, metaphorically, taking an uncut gemstone, and cutting and polishing it. Or, perhaps more accurately, advising me where to cut and polish. That included cutting off some lumps of gemstone, removing clumps of clay, and also turning it to present a different angle. All with the purpose of producing something that was already there, but in some sense covered. I don't think the metaphor stretches as far as a sculptor cutting away the stone to reveal the Venus de Milo — or in my case, maybe some kind of fish, is it? — hidden inside (that's probably more the work of a ghost-writer). I'm sure the boundary between what the editor does and what the author does varies, across people, across time, and even across the pages within a single book.
Note though that I qualified that by saying, "working in their area of expertise". If you search on the internet, you can read some tales — from traditionally published authors — of bad experiences with editors. You'll find lots of horror stories of awful and even wrong advice from professional editors who, basically, just didn't "get" what the author was doing. My impression is that it mostly happens when the book the editor has been assigned to is one they wouldn't choose to read themselves, and they're trying to change the book into something they would want to read, even if that means it's no longer the book the author is trying to write. Or it happens when the personalities of the author and editor clash horribly.
In TP (traditional publishing), the balance of power lies with the publishing company and editor: unless the author agrees to make the changes the editor requires, the book will not be published. That, I'm sure, can be anguishing — and sometimes destructive and wrong, for the book. On the other hand, in SP (self-publishing or indie publishing), the balance of power lies with the author. "Terrific!" you exclaim — until you realise that the author is typically blind to the problems in their own work, which means there will be some awful works published because the SP author ignored the advice of their editor….
Working with an editor
So, what was it like, working with thEditors? The short answer is "great!", but a longer answer is probably helpful.
At this point, my MS was 150k words: after a lot of effort, I'd managed to cut it from 169k to 150k. And, mind you, this was ten years after realising that in the version of the MS that had been one of ten finalists in the inaugural George Turner contest, I'd realised that the whole second half of the novel had plenty of story and action — but not much in the way of plot. So I'd chopped it in half, and then added a grand new plot element and carefully wove that through the 1st half. Which grew the MS back past it's original length.
Why do I mention that? Well, along with the thousands of in-line comments, there were a three big issues that Dave identified (opening his email with "So don't have a heart attack ... but"):
- Too much POV shifting. Far too much.
- One long arc needed a major rewrite
- The book probably needed splitting into three; or maybe just two.
I should also add that Dave gave me some feedback (points 1 and 3, above) that I could think about while he was completing his critique. That was really helpful.
Anyway, we discussed, at length, the pros and cons of splitting the MS into two, or three, books: what would have to be done, including ideas for new plot elements and various structural changes. In the end we came to agree that splitting it in two was the way to go.
So I tackled the big issues first, but while working through the line-by-line comments, addressing each in turn. For those where I thought a question remained, I'd add a comment to reply to Dave's; for those where I thought no questions remained, I'd delete Dave's comments.
And then, when I'd addressed all the comments, and all the issues, and after some more discussion with Dave by email, I now had a new MS that had been 1) chopped in half to 70k words, and 2) grown back to 115k words (from memory). It seemed obvious to me that there was enough new material, that a 2nd round of editing would be sensible. I discussed it with Dave, we discussed the cost, considering that he was already familiar with much of it, and we agreed on a cost and I sent it back.
Once again, Dave critiqued it thoroughly, and had more good suggestions, mainly for the new material. So once again I worked through the critique, in the same way as before, and at the end the MS had grown back to about 130k words. So, again we discussed the idea of a final, 3rd critique, and I sent it off.
I had set myself a publication date of 11th December, as that would be the anniversary of my wife's death, to whom the book was dedicated, but the date was looming very close. I got Dave's critique back close to that date, but there were still some issues that he'd identified, and so on the last day, we started working across a 10-hour timezone gap, with me saying "Well, as long as I publish on 11th Dec US time, I can tell myself I published on that date." Alas, Dave and I both came to the conclusion at about the same late hour, that I was dreaming, and could not meet my self-imposed deadline.
So we both collapsed, in separate countries, and I worked through the remaining issues, publishing in Amazon's KDP program on I think Dec 17th. Reassuring myself that Stella would have wanted it done right, more than on time. Especially having watched me working on it for over twenty years!
Schedules. This is probably a good point to comment on schedules.
Having worked for decades for a company that was owned by the Japanese, I've learned that meeting high quality standards is not enough: you also have to meet deadlines; and perhaps more especially, it important to avoid giving unwelcome surprises to the people you're working with.
I was careful to let Dave know my plans, and to work as hard as needed to me the deadlines I'd set. Most of these were optimistic (I think Dave may have thought me crazy), but I had all my time available to spend on this, so I worked as hard as I could, and managed to meet my deadlines, more or less. I also sent him a concise progress report as the deadlines approached, so he could see for himself how I was tracking, and use his own expertise to sense whether I was getting into difficulties or not. I think this was helpful to him.
We were also both pretty flexible to changes, and discussed and re-planned things a few times, especially for the 2nd and 3rd critiques.
Now, if anyone takes a look at the revision history for Wild Thing, or the (too?) detailed lists of changes that I've made available on the website here, you will no doubt think I was stupid to say that I would handle the proof-reading myself. I think I'm very good at that, but it's hard to get it right, yourself. Dave could have provided that service too, but I felt that I could handle it myself. Admittedly, more than two thirds of those changes are me retroactively polishing the text at the sentence level, but fully a third are either typos, grammatical, continuity or other errors. I'm indebted to Louise Harris for picking up the largest slab of problems after several rounds of my own self-correction, and getting it to a professional level of quality. No doubt a few more typos still lurk, waiting to be corrected as the years pass.
Book 2. I won't go into details for Book 2, other than to say it was eerily similar to what happened for Book 1 — even down to the advice to split it in half again! The big problem which Dave had identified, at the very start of my work on book 2 (working from Dave's original critique of the MS before I'd split it), was that it was going to be too long. We had discussed a pacing problem in what would be book 2, and I had proposed that instead of cutting some chapters, I add a chapter or two (a "Mean Girls" story arc), to break up the slow patch and fix the pacing. Unfortunately, this grew into a rather major story arc of 50-60 pages, and suddenly the book was heading towards 600 pages long. In addition, when Dave saw the revised MS for Book 2, he pointed out that I had missed an opportunity for a very satisfying denouement and natural ending, at about the mid-point.
So, yeah: split again! And I have to credit Dave with the idea for Marcie, Superman, and the message of hope. And for making things go badly for Marcie, at the end. Which I saw the sense of, and tried to produce. At which point, Leeth refused to co-operate, or perhaps I should say, refused to give up, and the rather more dramatic and shocking ending came about.
So, right now I'm quietly working to piece things back together now that Leeth threw a major spanner in the works, and I'm in discussion with Dave about the re-planning for Book 3, and scheduling the critique of it when I'm ready.
Working with, and disagreeing with, your editor.
When I talked to other writers, about my experience in working with thEditors, one thing I observed is that I agree with somewhere between 90%-95% of Dave's comments and suggestions. This is, apparently, highly unusual. One would expect more disagreement than that. I attribute this to two things. The biggest one being that Dave and I are on the same wavelength — he "gets" what I'm doing, and understands the characters, despite their oddities (indeed, I hope, their uniqueness). Sci fi and fantasy is one of the genres he understands and enjoys. (Other members of their team have other areas of special expertise.)
The second thing I suppose is that I'm quite open to criticism and feedback. Again, decades of working with groups of people as smart as and smarter than me, reviewing and critiquing each other's work to improve it, provided me with a deep appreciation for the whole review and critiquing process. I respect Dave's opinion; and he respects mine.
Going back to an earlier point, about the author being the boss, that's something Dave always highlights. Basic grammar aside, he never says "you must do this", but rather "I think", or "how about?". (Well, perhaps with one exception. I have a mental image of Dave tearing his hair out after the 24th POV shift between four characters interleaving through one particular chapter. At that point Dave had some frank observations for me. :-)
I learned that I'm unusually comfortable with POV shifts. If you don't believe me, here's what the POV situation looked like, in the MS which will soon have evolved into three books. It looks a mess, eh? And yes: that graph is saying there were 24 POV shifts (orange diamonds) in the 21-page-long Chapter 44 (blue squares):
You'll be pleased to learn that Chapters 44-46 (an upcoming arc in Shadow Hunt), has had the POV shifts removed. I've learned my lesson: POV continuity trumps temporal continuity.
Okay, but, what do you do when you can't agree? This didn't happen much, largely because I followed advice from other writers, and a dash of common sense, and didn't just "agree to disagree", but instead kept discussing until we each understood what the other person's point of view was. Mostly, that meant that we did in the end reach agreement.
Who's queen? Incidentally, I think the "power relationship" between an indie author and an editor can be far healthier — if you let it — than is often the case in traditional publishing. The tricky part is knowing when to go with your heart, your gut instinct, over the advice of your editor — the expert you're paying for their insights. Dave and I always talked things through (by email, or in-comments), until we both understood the other's perspective. For my part, I tried to err on the side of taking Dave's advice. (Though, yes, I know: I still need to learn to cut more.)
In a handful of instances, I simply did what Dave recommended. And in another handful of instances, where I cared strongly, I went ahead and did what I thought was right. One of the errors this lead to, was that some sections of Wild Thing are too slow: more should have been cut to improve the pace in some sections. And Dave always thought I was taking a huge risk on the sexual and abuse side of things: which I have to agree with; but I think they're such a key element for what's unfolding, that I couldn't soften those as far as he would have liked. And indeed, I think it's why some reviewers have found this aspect of the book(s) repellent. But I think that's a fair point of view, too: what happens is disturbing, and even horrifying. But it's an integral part of my vision, and of Leeth's journey. Probably if I had followed his advice to the letter in this area I'd have fewer reviewers complaining, but I think the story wouldn't have been what I wanted. It would not be as raw and visceral. Certainly the upward climb, for Leeth, would have been shorter and simpler. But sometimes you have to take risks. And the result, I hope, is a book that the reader will either love or hate. And I'm okay with that.
So with all that said (at too great length, no doubt!), Dave was happy for me to ask him a few questions….
A quick interview with Dave Taylor, Editor-in-chief of www.thEditors.com:
What was your background — how did you develop your skills and understanding, to become an editor? Was it a straight path, or a convoluted one?
Dave: As an author myself I used to do a lot of beta reading for people. What I was saying seemed to strike a chord. When I no longer had time for it, one of the authors offered to pay me to read and comment on their book. That got me thinking.
I attended a few courses and along with another editor (who has since moved on) I began offering my services part-time. It gathered momentum over time, mainly through recommendations, until I was able to do it full-time.
What types of writing, or perhaps genres, do thEditors prefer to focus on?
Dave: We're willing to look at all genres, but our favourites are probably science fiction and fantasy.
How do you decide whether to work with someone on their manuscript?
Dave:
- Do I like it?
- Do I think I can help make it better?
- Is the author friendly and easy to work with?
When you and an author disagree, how do you try to resolve the disagreement? What kinds of things do you feel get in the way of getting to the bottom of differences of opinion?
Dave: I always like to say the author is the boss. I will state my case and discuss it with you as much as you wish, but I won't fight you over it. Nobody knows your book as well as you, and if you disagree the last word is yours.
What advice do you have for indie authors?
Dave:
1. Pay for a good cover designer.
2. Pay for a good editor (I would say that, but it's true).
3. Produce many books or a series of books.
What advice do you have for indie authors who can't afford the services of a professional editor?
Dave: I think one of the most important things you can do is read. Read as much as you can, especially in your genre. You can't expect to write good books if you don't read any. Also, no matter what, you will really have to get somebody competent to proofread it.
What things can authors do, to make your job easier?
Dave: Keep in regular contact and stick to agreed schedules. Oh, and write great books!
What's been the most difficult thing for you, working with me — what should I myself aim to improve? :-)
Dave: Occasionally setting very tight deadlines!!